Change

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My life is in a midst of change. Change can be a amazing gift but it depends on you’re perception. As anyone goes through change it can be scary stepping into the unknown. The gift of change is the growth you receive from it & you need to remember this as it is very easy to go back to your old ways. The old ways can be safe & comfortable which makes it hard to change.

A few weeks ago a friend sent me this quote “Starting over is the easy part, accepting you need to is the hard part.” this is so very true. As humans most of tend to fear the unknown so we have a hard time realizing & accepting we need to take that first step. If you are like me, you think oh well it’s not exactly making me happy but it will get better eventually. Overtime this mentality drains you.

It is important to keep things in perspective. Step out of your situation once in a while and look at it from the outside. This helps you learn about yourself & your habits. For me, I need to step back & really think about why I have had two marriages that did not work.
I do not blame the men I married. I am part of why they didn’t work. But why? What could I have done differently? I ponder these questions frequently. Many that know me will say I jump into relationships too fast. I actually agree. I do think that is part of my “problem.”
I fall right into the saying “love is blind.” I move quickly and don’t keep perspective. Having said this I know that moving forward, if I do start to date I need to be sure to take it slow. No need to rush! One day at a time.

I have two great friends that I truly admire their marriages! Both marriages have similarities. The first one is that both husbands traveled for work, so they may have been gone for two weeks out of the month at times. I look at this as a way to strengthen a marriage it allows both people to be independent. It also makes you appreciate the time you do spend together more.
These friends also have things in common with their spouse that they like to do together but they also have their individual hobbies as well.

I can honestly say I do not believe I will get married again. The way I look at it is either “3s a charm” or “3 strikes you’re out” and I’m not willing to take that bet!

♥ Ang

Believe

My life has been full of its ups aBelievend downs. Throughout it all it has been crucial for me to BELIEVE that things will turn out ok. I believe whole heartedly there is a reason for everything. Sometime we just don’t know the reason while we are going through it.

Currently, it has been extra important for me to remain calm and know that things will work out for the better. As I mentioned in my recent post, I am going through a divorce. This is not my first divorce which makes matters worse for me. I feel that much more of a failure. As my 32nd birthday approaches I wonder why can’t I have successful relationships. I do not blame the men I married for this, I think the answer is in me. What drew me to these men at the given time?  Is what drew me to them then, what drives me away from them now? Has anyone else dealt with this?

I know I am not the only one that puts pressure on myself for having failed relationships. Actually just the other day, a friend of mind said “I think I am not good at relationships and I may be destined to be single and childless for the rest of my life.”  We put so much pressure on ourselves, we are our own worst critic. Why do we do this? Is it our upbringing, peer pressure, or our culture?

When I have a moment where I get down on myself and think how did I get here, I stop myself and remember to BELIEVE. I believe that everything will be ok. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe this is just a lesson on the journey of life. I believe in myself.

As you go through life and you have moments of sadness, resentment, frustration, anger, etc. Remember to BELIEVE….

♥ Ang

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